Live + Learn: 3 Things I’ll NEVER Do Again

I have a lengthy list of stuff I’d like to do, feel, experience and accomplish in my life (most of us do), and since 2013 is going to be a rather big year (I know you feel it too), much of that list has been slid into my focus for the coming twelve months.

Using my Core Desired Feelings as somewhat of a filter (something I’ll blog about in more detail soon), my ‘Must-Do-This-Year’s range from:

‘Speak in front of a large audience’

and

‘Go overseas. Twice.’

To

‘Start taking beautiful photographs again.’

and

‘Cook a curry from scratch.’

I’ve changed (drastically) over the past two years. So have my desires. So have my desire-no-more’s,

It’s so easy for us to identity what it is we do want to experience in our life. Much of the reason why we pursue the things we do, is because by simply imagining that we’re there- in that experience, on an energetic level- we are there. We are doing it.

Pretend, right now, that you’re standing on the edge of a bridge with a bungee cord wrapped around your ankles. You’re trying to keep it together, but you’re trembling; there’s no controlling it. You can’t think straight (forget about it!). You keep fiddling with your hands, pulsing them in an out of fists, trying to find something to hold on to. But there is nothing there. All there is in front of you… is space.

Hear these words coming from behind you: ‘Five… four… three… two… one…’

How do you feel? Did you jump? Would you jump in ‘real life’? You either loved that experience, or were terrified of it, and that (obviously) shapes the decision you would you make in ‘real life’ about whether or not you would jump off a bridge with elastic tied to your ankles. By the way, I for one would- quite literally- jump at the chance!

Our energy is so wise. As I’m sitting here, hand-writing this post, and after spending days glued to my computer in preparation of launching The Party Girls’ Guide to Peace, I can close my eyes, and remember with every cell in my body…

What it felt like to be high in the club…

Every kind of messed up I’ve been in the back of a cab…

How much it hurt to watch the sun come up, knowing that soon the party would be over, and I’d be alone…

How much I resented the girl looking back at me in the mirror…

I can feel, right now, what it felt like to stare at the wall in the shower, my knees aching from lack of sleep and rest, the water against my shoulders rocking me into micro-sleeps as I’d stand there, in a half-conscious trance, not quite believing that it was time to pull myself together, find my way to work, and do it all over again.

More recently, I remember the guilt I would feel when out with friends. That voice that knocked around my head, cursing the part of me that simply did not want to be there. Who do you think you are? You think you’re better than these people? These people have fun while they’re out necking beer and doing shots. You should get a life! Every sip was poison to push down. I don’t belong here anymore.

Sometimes, we’ve really gotta journey backwards, simply to remind ourselves of what we never want to experience again.

My pledge to you: 3 things I’ll never do. Ever again.

1. Take Drugs.

We’ve had our good times, and our downright rotten, but at the end of the day, whenever I travel back to visit 21 year old Tara, mostly I just feel really, really sad for her. I have a lot of compassion for how hard she tried; she thought she was happy and healthy, and that the relationships in her life were functional and ‘normal’, but she wasn’t, and they weren’t. My love affair with drugs ended well over a year ago, and when I imagine never being that kind of high again, I feel free. I feel like I could break down in tears.

2. Drink Any Form of Liquid Energy in a Can.

Good fucking riddance. And girls- if you drink Red Bull- stop. Just… don’t. You’re smarter than that. And, “sugar-free” red bull doesn’t count. Drinking neuro-toxins is not cool.

3. Get Drunk

Believe it. My days of making a complete arse of myself, of waking up in the morning, scratching around every corner of my mind trying to figure out how it is I made it to bed, of starting my day with a head ache, of resenting my body, of becoming an overly sensitive, emotional mess… Bon voyage to the lot! A few wines here and there? For now, yes. Would I pass on a margarita if I was sitting beach side in Mexico right now? For now, no, I wouldn’t. But getting drunk? No! I can see gorgeous future visions of me attending weddings and stopping at one glass of bubbly. I can see myself ordering a glass or two of Pinot on a date night with my Glen. I can see me making a single aged rum and coconut water cocktail on a Summer’s Day… and what really excited me about these visions, is the fact that I stop.

God it feels good to get that off my chest. I feel more alive than ever.

Friends, The Party Girls’ Guide to Peace is HERE.

She’s alive and kicking, and she’s yours for the taking.

The Party Girls’ Guide to Peace is a 7 Lesson temple of transparency and truth that nudges you away from vodka and into vitality. It’s your big fat permission slip to start exercising your power so you can live the life you dream of. It’s a resource for women who are prepared (no matter how terrified they may be) to free themselves from their Party Girl label and instead, as a community, prioritise peace.

This is not about deprivation. It’s about freedom.

Check out the video in the sidebar, and then jump aboard!

For the sake of your happiness and health, what do YOU pledge to STOP doing in 2013 (and beyond)? Let me know in the comments below, and for the love of all things alive and vibrant, I urge you to please, share this post on your Twitter and Facey feeds below.

P.S: Less hangovers! More vitality! Clearer skin! More meaningful relationships! Bring that shit on. Join the convoy. Commit to peace!