As I mentioned on Monday, last week’s interstate self love and sisterhood tour with Jess, Melissa, Amanda and Yvette will go down in history as one of those experiences in life that will be forever call forth smiles- and a few tears.
I could trip and stumble over the romanticism of spending quality time with these four women for days, but alas, this blog series is not about me and my love affair with my sisters…
If you missed out on the events, then hopefully these posts will swiftly fill up your self-love inspiration-o-meter, and prompt you to not only take action, but to sit in quiet contemplation as you reflect on your own journey; what it is that’s brought you to THIS moment, reading THIS post, with an urge (no matter how tiny) to further investigate this whole ‘self love’ thing.
So, what did a panel of twenty-somethings have to say about such a loaded topic?
Words of wisdom from Jess Ainscough
Jess’ message was simple, sharp and potent: self love is about complete and utter acceptance of your current situation.
Not a willingness to improve who you are…
Or an overarching desire to shed a few kilos or meditate a little longer…
Just acceptance.
And I can guarantee you that 100% of the time, that requires a massive mind set shift.
Jess told us all that in the early stages of her cancer diagnosis and subsequent Gerson treatment, she resented her new routine, and the only thing that propelled her into her rigorous days of juicing, meditation and coffee enemas was a fear of dying.
Everything changed for her, when instead of living from that brutal place of fear, she took ownership of her situation and instead decided that she was excited to be alive. She accepted her situation. I have cancer. And I’m healing myself naturally. And bounced into her days with a new found enthusiasm and zest for life. Suddenly, hourly juices were no longer a means to an end- they became elixers to celebrate a life worth living.
Key take away: Everything is how it should be right in this moment. How can you nurture yourself TODAY, from a place of love?
Words of wisdom from Amanda Rootsey
Gorgeous Amanda’s message can be summed up with these three words: Gentle, Generosity + Gratitude.
Be gentle with yourself. Tread lightly. Move softly. Everything’s more sustainable this way; more organic even.
Self love- as the name suggests- is about you loving YOU, from a whole, complete place. Come from that place rather than one of reaction and competition, and enjoy the gentleness of the journey.
And if you’re unsure of where to start with self love or you get lost along the way, then Mandy suggests that perhaps generosity is the answer. How can you give? Lend a helping hand? Be of service?
This is a beautifully authentic message from one of the most generous and gentle people I know…
Key take away: How can you actively appreciate all that you have in this moment? Start small if you need to- just start somewhere.
Words of Wisdom from Melissa Ambrosini
The Queen of working the self love muscle, Mel reiterated that self love is a spiritual practice in and of itself; a moment to moment practice.
We all have egos. Each and every one of us. It’s part of what enables us to experience life as human beings, and the goal should never be to completely eliminate the ego. Rather, aim to observe it and let it pass.
Let it go, and choose a higher thought.
Self love takes time, and just as we strengthen our bodies by hitting the pavement and our yoga mats, we strengthen our ability to love and accept ourselves by pumping iron at the self love gym.
Mel’s suggestion for a great ‘work out’? Meditation, affirmations (repeated everywhere; in the car, on the toilet, at the dinner table…), and surrounding yourself in vibrant, positive people.
And me?
As my (ex) Party Girls know, self love is ALL about being brave enough to let go of the identities that we create to keep ourselves safe.
- The Party Girl
- The Crazy One
- The Tomboy
- The Introvert
… Whatever…
Self love is about garnering curiosity. Can we can love ourselves without the labels we place upon ourselves?
Easier said than done.
Who am I, if I’m not the girl who needs a line of speed to have an intelligent conversation?
Who am I, if I’m not the girl who needs to down two bottles of wine to feel comfortable in the bedroom?
If I’m not the girl who can wear my hat backwards and pretend that I’m one of the boys, then tell me: who am I?
And, am I willing to love what’s left, when I’m left feeling empty and exposed and vulnerable without these identities?
The answer must be: yes. It simply must.
The way we identify with ourselves sabotages our joy, and I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of switching masks day in, and day out. Exhausted. I just want to be Tara Bliss- and that means enjoying my own sacred company, sitting in stillness out of enthusiasm, instead of obligation, and recognising what I need to let go of, on a daily basis.
Key take away: take off the damn mask. Yes, you! You’re not alone. I’m right there with you, trying my best, too.
Before I go, here’s one last little nugget that the four of us agree on wholeheartedly: self love is about allowing your body to feel what needs to be felt.
Some days, you will need to cry for no apparent reason. Other days, you’ll be frustrated and angry and overwhelmed.
Allow this. This is a part of lifes rhythms and cycles, and the more you allow yourself to FEEL what’s bubbling up from within, the sooner it will be released. Feeling your feelings (really feeling them!) will become your new medicine in no time. Promise.
I’d love to hear from you now. Which key take away/s are you pumped to play with, pronto?
I’m looking forward to hearing what resonated with you, and pretty please, share this post with your peeps!
Love you x
“sitting in stillness out of enthusiasm, instead of obligation”
I have been trying to kick-start my meditation practice and have felt an obligation to do it more than feeling I want to.
I feel now I will be able to turn that around!
Blessings
xxoo
Start simple honey. Even if you just start by pressing mute when the ads come on the TV and sit and breathe with your eyes closed. Baby steps xx
I was at the Sydney self love and sisterhood tour. I left there feeling so incredibly happy, optimistic and energised it was hard to comprehend. My friend and I parted ways with a really massive full of love hug, it was amazing. On the way home I was thinking about all the things I learnt, and suddenly it all fell into place – I guess I had my ‘ah-ha’ moment.
Now I am catching my mean girl and stopping her in her tracks, after I leave the house in the morning I am accepting myself as I am, no more comparing and I am diving as much into self care as I can manage.
Thank you Tara and all the girls for sharing, I had a great night.
Oh babe you are so welcome. This makes me so happy to hear how inspired you were. xx
You know what my key take-away was? It was when you said you were in Japan, and suddenly it clicked that you just wanted to be with Glenn because you love and choose to – not because you guys need each other to complete each other. And Mel said something similar too.
I was like “LIGHTBULBBBBBBB! DING DONG DANG DING DONG.” So so true. I’ve been so much more aware now in my relationships – I choose to hang out with my friends and family because I genuinely love their being, not because I feel obliged to or to fulfil some kind of role. I choose my circle of peers and support group because I love them, I wanna share my time with them, and I wanna BE there with them.
Above all, I myself am complete and whole – always have and will be! :-) I’m playing with this A LOT lately. Hehe. Thank YOU. x
That was a HUGE moment for me honey- and it changed everything. I’m so glad that you felt it. xxx
This was mine too!
Love this post! I wish I could have attended one of these sessions it sounds like you ladies shared such fantastic stuff!!
It’s funny how hard it is to just be yourself sometimes and love yourself exactly the way that you are… work in progress :)
It’s definitely a work in progress, beautiful! There’s so much UNLEARNING to do haha
Tara! Thank you so much for this summary of the tour. I really appreciate it and love everyone’s own take and tips on self love.
It has taken me ages to really understand self love and what I take away from this is that it’s a moment to moment decision. I thought I would just love myself and then everything would be perfect there after. But it’s a continuous practise.
I seriously love your blog and get so much inspiration from your posts.
x
Hello honey! You’re so welcome! I happen to know that there’s going to be an audio version on the Sydney event available soon! Keep your eyes peeled :)
I love you too, lovely :)
Well, amazing Tara, you already know (read) my huge takeaway from this event.
I adore what Jess said about doing things for the purpose of being alive, and not out of fear of dying.
I also realised that I definitely have a closet full of masks … which I thought were actually part of “me”. It’s a bit confusing to start to understand that they are not.
You spoke with such honesty and I felt like you would have spoken the exact same way if you were sitting in a room with one person. That, perhaps, was my biggest take away. Being the same person that I am regardless of who or how many people are in front of me … that’s self-love. X
Ahhhhhh. Hear that? That was the sound of the nice deep breath I took in response to this beautiful comment.
Thank you Jas, you’re gorgeous x
PS- I think the trick to upholding that kind of presence in a room is not having a freaking idea what you’re going to talk about on stage. Everyone’s different, but for me, the less I think about it, the more powerful feel up there. :)
I really enjoyed this post. It brought a type of calm over me as I read it. Self-love is hard, somedays it’s harder than others, but we are all worthy of it. I find that who I am surrounded by seems to be the biggest factor in how I feel about myself. I’m working ton not take things personally, letting it go and accepting myself as me no matter who I’m around. It’s not been easy though.
-Emily
Atta girl. Keep going. x
Beautiful post Tara, love it – Sheer Acceptance + Gratitude + care + and letting go of rules = a life worth loving :)
Living and loving and letting it all go! :) xx
Gorgeous one,
I was so excited to see thar you wrote up a little summary of you + the girls’ Self Love Tour! Thank you for sharing your insights which I was gently nodding my head to as I read… It’s so wonderful that you are spreading this message.
I especially resonate with Jess’s take on ACCEPTANCE which has been paramount in my own self love and healing and now gives me the foundation for my being in the moment ~ living a spirit connection way of life.
You are awesome!
Love,
Gypsy x
YOU, my girl, are AWESOME! xx
I love your take-away message! I read your post a few days ago, and have spent much of the time since pondering who I am separated from the ego. I’m still discovering, but it’s exciting to know that there is something special there, beneath the labels.
And as for Tara Bliss (sans labels) – she’s pretty wonderful x
It was so great to be at this event and meet you in person!
I wrote a little bit about my take aways from it the other day, if you’re interested in seeing it through the eyes of an audience member! That’s a killer shot of the four of you!
http://throughmylookingglass.me/self-love-and-sisterhood/