I love my clients. They’re influential teachers in my life; providing me with a constant stream of inspiration, and ongoing curiosity into what makes each of us tick and turn on. It’s such a true gift to be able to swim around in soul-stirring conversations with young women who are ready and raring to shed skins, identify their desires, and reap more from their lives. An astounding gift, actually.
I don’t think a single coaching session goes by, without acknowledging (even for a split second) the voice in our head that tries with all it’s might to keep us within the walls of misery and smallness. And the thing is, this voice succeeds- more often than we’d probably like to admit- by virtue of us believing everything she tells us.
To hell with that! There is another way, sister girl, and it doesn’t even revolve around you hatching revenge against her.
In the video, it’s all about lettin’ go, and lovin’.
Thoughts and feelings? I’ve got two questions for you today!
1. What’s your normal, automatic response to the saboteur in your head (I like to call her Lady Fear)? Be honest here- I won’t judge you!
And 2. Coming off the back of this video, and moving forward, how has your perspective changed? How do you FEEL now about your inner companion? A little lighter? Relieved? Have we managed to successfully dissolve away a little of the resentment? Hope so.
Please, share your insights in the comments and of course, share along with your online buddies.
T xxx
Hi Tara :)
Absolutely loved this video. It strongly resonated with me and brought a new lightness and playfulness to what can sometimes feel so heavy and negative when we buy into what the bitch has to say. Your point about the loving her because she is pushing us to new heights and making us realise our true potential is so true, and it’s important to love her for that. If she wasn’t there to test us, we would become complacent and it would yeah, be boring.
So I’m going to love her – not believe her – and have a good chuckle at the ridiculous shit she spins to get my attention.
Thanks lovely for painting it this way xx
Love her- not believe her- that’s it babe!
Find the amusement. Utilise your power of choice. :)
Thanks for commenting beautiful x
Hey Tara,
I’m not seeing the video? Maybe it’s my end? :) Help!
Nevermind! It’s up. Must be my connection. Can’t wait to watch!
Wow- do I need to watch this today! Thank you so much my darling- what a gen of video!
In response to your questions my love:
1) Every time this little voice pipes up, I find myself saying, “Gawd, here we go again! What is it this time?!”. But it’s more of a feeling that comes with it- if anything I get the ‘ego feeling’ before the ego starts putting words into my head. It feels really sticky and alien (like a huge ball of toffee!), but it’s definitely there. I usually feel it in my stomach or my throat (chakras going crazy, no doubt!)
2) Coming away from this video, I know that I need to recognise this little beauty and have fun with her- not to take her so flippin’ seriously all the time. She’s there to guide me and nudge me to grow. A lot of the time, we’re lead to believe that we need to eradicate the ego completely, but life would be really dull without her (and we’re only human!)
Such an important video my darling- thank you so much! xxx
I love the way you described that Katie; that it’s more a feeling- toffee.
I agree- I think she’s a part of us that we need to accept, embrace and keep an eye on. It’s not our job to judge her, and if we do, we’re doing OURSELVES a huge disservice. :)
You’re welcome gorgie x
I really really really REALLY needed this video today. Thank you!
That voice used to hate on me so much, but on that level she’s been very quiet lately (which has taken a lot of work). But she has really amped up the comparison-itis and feelings of doubt.
But this video made me realise, that voice is afraid of me. It’s acting out of fear too. And whatever she tells me, I WILL do the opposite. She drives me nuts, and I wish she wasn’t there, but we can live in harmony.
Thank you sweetness. Truly. xxxx
You’re welcome sweet girl!
You’re totally right. She IS afraid of you. She’s afraid of you shining and expanding and blissing out. You’ve got the upper hand honey, and yep- you can live in harmony. It can most definitely be a happy marriage :)
Tara such a beautiful video. I remember one of the very first things you said to me was be grateful for that voice…. at the time i honestly thought you were crazy! i thought whaaat no way this girls nuts!. But now all i feel is gratfulness!, so so grateful that i realise that im not that person and that the voice is really there to guide me.
The important message i took away from this video was: i have realised that sometimes that voice tells me that im scared or alone or i cant do it and it allows me to realise that i do feel something, that mabey i am scraed about what might happen but i can get through it!. that voice allows me to come back and think.. yeah i feel something and its real, and it always reainds me that i have a choice.Some times i can feel numb and the mean girl was all i could hear in my head but now she is just a loving reminder that i have a choice.
love you
chantelle x
I love you too honey.
FANTASTIC to watch you grow. Blows me mind. xx
Tara, that was refreshing :) I must admit I have been getting ANGRY at her and telling her to f**k off from time to time! Oops, my bad?
But at the same time I do find my self laughing at her a lot, so I guess I’m on the right path.
I love that I choose how I react to her and I am most defiantly going to start letting her be and focus on letting her know that I respect her, but do not agree with her and she her nastiness does not define who I am.
This is what I say to myself about criticism, but I didn’t realize I criticize myself the most AND I have been very mean to her back!
Oh this is AWESOME! To be at peace with her, will be such a beautiful feeling, thank you
Love Ash xx
Hell yeah sister good. Let’s shoot for PEACE
I think this is such an interesting challenge – do the opposite. Not as easy as it sounds, but I think it could be very powerful for me. Thanks for this video, Tara. I felt such a wave of peace wash over me as I watched you speak. You seem so grounded and zen in this clip :)
Oh babe, thank you!
Give it a try, and let me know how you go.
xx
I remeber the day I became aware of my ego, then aware of the voice being critical on my ego, then the day I realised that voice WAS ALSO my ego, and my brain imploded! Ha! This is a lovely perspective shift to help shift to a better space. More nurturing and patient. Many thanks for such lovely wise words xx
Haha I totally, 100% know what you mean Ruth.
BBOOOOOMMMM in the mind! haha
You’re welcome. Thank YOU
Great video Tara. I’ve spent the first part of 2013 being sucked into her vortex and beliving eveything inside my head. i don’t know exactly how i got here – it has been a struggle to break free and find my worth amongst the crap.
The penny dropped when i watched your video…I can wallow in her misery and get angry and frustrated, or I be propelled to use it as a launching pad to gracefully rise above the bitch inside my head.
The simple things always seem to be the most profound.
Thanks! K
PS..Tell Glen he needs to create a cookbook! :)
I loved this video! Though i do have to admit that i have not had to deal with that little lady for a very long time – i think since i was a teenager! She does pop her head in occasionally but I’ve always known i have the power to listen or not. Fighting her will drain your energy levels and that is valuable energy that could be used elsewhere.
It reminds me of the proverb ‘You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair’.
You’re ace at this topic Tara! I could listen to you talk about it all day. My first reaction is normally to back down… I don’t tend to get angry at my ego, rather I often succumb. Self destruct. Eg. Missing yoga tonight because I have ‘too much work to do’. Stress-snacking. Not washing my hair even though it desperately needs it.
After watching this, I have observed my ego-fuelled self destruct tendencies today. And now with love, I will set my alarm for 6am yoga and go slather a mud mask on. Thank you! x
PS. Stylin’ necklace ;-)
This arrived in my inbox exactly when I was needing to watch it…crazy how things in life come to you when you need them the most!! Thank you so much for this video. This was a great wake up call for me and I really needed to be reminded to love, not believe, my inner bitch! Thanks again!!!
My auto pilot response is listen for a moment, but only a moment. Sometimes it goes away quickly, other times it takes a few, to a lot of firm “Oh no you don’ts” to myself to make it calm down.
I am in the midst of “dealing/healing” right now and my oranges were so zoomy listening to you, this after spending an afternoon of complete and utter “orange” funness ;)with a real, real awesome person in my life right now.
Thank you for the affirmation/video Tara. ROYGBIV’s to you. xo