Picture this.
You’re coasting along on the highway, and some lunatic comes along, cutting you off, barely missing you by an inch. You’re rattled, and furious.
You have a fight with your honey. Over nothing. There’s tears. It’s not pretty.
You log on to your computer and discover that someone you admire online has published a blog post along the same lines as one that you’d just finished drafting. You feel like an idiot.
You’re walking down town, and suddenly cop a whiff of your ex-boyfriend’s cologne.
Your head hits the pillow late at night, and instead of drifting gratefully off to sleep, there’s a pesky soundtrack playing over and over in your mind, telling that you didn’t do enough with your day. You procrastinated too much. You didn’t write enough. You should’ve gone for a run. You shouldn’t have eaten so much at dinner.
Bloody hell.
Recently at Vipassana, I learnt that we’re not reacting to the guy that cut us off, to the words that were hastily thrown around with our love, or to the smell of Cool Water by Davidoff.
We always- without a doubt – react to a sensation that arises within our body, within our energy field.
The body is the middle ground. Which (hooray) means we have a choice in how we react to the sensation. We can’t control lunatics on the road, and we can’t take the day back once it’s over, but we can change our perspective, and choose to observe the sensations that arise on the body (pleasant or otherwise) equanimously. Which is to say, without judgement.
It’s radical stuff, and I kid you not, it’s changing everything for me. I’ve been passing this technique on to my clients, and I’d love to share it with you too.
Check out the video above and tell me, what’s your biggest a-ha. I’d also love to know what area in your life you’re looking forward to experimenting with this. It’s a keeper!
Brilliant video, Tara! It’s so true, we react to the way we perceive an event. There is such power in simply observing ourselves – without judgment or wishing it away. Feel to forgive – I love it! xx
This is the sort of thing that you need to get reminded of again and again. Thank you for speaking so beautifully xx
Loved this thanks Tara x
Seriously powerful. Thank you so so much for this, hun.
I’ve been dealing with some forgiveness myself at the moment, and I’m in the process of forgiving an apology I don’t think I’ll ever receive. This has been incredibly helpful. xx
Thank you for sharing your own story and for always being so powerfully open + vulnerable. This was a beautiful video x
Good grey grief my darling- this is so, so powerful. Phew. Knowing that we’re reacting to feelings in our body definitely makes forgiveness a whole lot lighter and not as terrifying. It’s also make it a whole let easier for us if we’re working of the old ‘self-forgiveness’ thing (*timidly waves hand in the air and pokes head around the corner*)
You’re on fire my dear- think I need to get me some Vipassana too! xx
Oh I LOOVE this! Powerful message Tara.
When Kieran and I have an argument I must admit, I am the worst at waiting for an apology before moving on. I never used to be like that and its an awful habit I have developed over the last year or so. This video has reminded me to work on that and put put it into practice.
I love that you mentioned logging onto the computer to find a post written by someone you admire on the same subject you have just finished drafting yourself. SO glad to hear its not just me. Instead of backspacing and deleting our work I guess we have to remember that we each bring our own energy to the words we write no matter how similar the subject may be.
Love your work. xx
Oh baby, you been channeling me? Lol. Thank you for this darling girl. There has been too many lunatics on the road lately and this is a beautiful reminder of the choices I always have. You’re amazing xx
Oh yeah! We’re synced up alright xx
I love this one Tara, I try to apply this concept always (even when things are good) so that I don’t get too attached to them. You’ve explained this so well. Look how gorgeous you look in this video – babe you are just beautifully glowing xxx
What a lovely thing to say. thank you babe.
Totally awesome post and video, Tara. Thank you so much for sharing. I really needed to hear this at this time.
Big hugs and love to you <3
Oh you are SO welcome Chele xx
Tara, gorgeous video, thank you. What your talking about is very similar to a model of psychological flexibility called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which looks at feelings in a way that when you stop struggling and trying to push them away, and instead accept them for what they are (simply a feeling or thought), they have minimal power over you as a person. Well spoken babe. X
Thank you honey!
I think ACT might be what Russ Harris talks about in his book, The Happiness Trap. It’s my shelf waiting for me to dive into it.
:) x
Yes! That’s exactly it. The Happiness Trap is a fantastic book. It aligns perfectly with what you wrote about. Get into girl, you’ll hit so many ‘aha’ moments. Its the best! X
Tara, this is a brilliant video and spoke right to my heart. Something I’ve been working on lately is trying to witness certain feelings that come up at particular times and instead of reacting, waiting. Usually if I breath through it, wait it out, I see it from a different perspective. It’s quite nice to discover this.
Tara,
I have recently discovered you and your blog and am in love! You speak so kindly and thoughtfully, it’s quiet beautiful. Thanks so much for this reminder, it is something I need to work on, on a daily basis. I am trying it tomorrow!
Abbagail x
quite*