I’m going to get personal in today’s post; I’m going to welcome you in on the thoughts, confusion and often anger that storms through my brain when it comes to this topic- What the hell, seriously now, are we feeding our kids?!
First let me say, that until my magical life moment arrives, the one where I’m able to rearrange my priorities, my lifestyle and my finances in such a way that will enable me to start my wellness practice, I’ve resigned myself to the hospitality industry. Partly because I am a damn good bartender and have been doing it my entire adult life, partly because the money isn’t terrible, but mostly because it’s conducive to the life of a traveller- particularly to the traveller who’s married to a chef, as I am.
Last week I was working behind the bar, and a docket came up for a Shirley Temple. Right, got it: 7Up, OJ, grenadine. Next… Now, I don’t know whether I’ve been incredibly naive my whole bar tending career, or whether they do things a little differently up here in North America, but I was under the impression that grenadine was pomegranate syrup. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely stupid- pomegranates are mighty expensive, even at the best of times, so of course, when I checked out the ingredients I was expecting to see a butt load of sugar. What I wasn’t expecting was this-
High fructose corn syrup
Sugar
Artificial flavour
Preservative
Thickener
‘Oh my God!’
‘What is it?’ said a woman sitting behind the bar.
‘Can you believe this…..’ I paused for a second in disbelief. ‘I could never give this to my children’.
‘Ha!’ She chuckled, then looked me in the eye, then condescendingly said ‘you say that now, but you just wait till you have kids!’
Hang on…. What!? ‘No… I will never, ever feed this to anyone I love…’
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So let’s be honest here, I think I ruffled a few feathers with this lady, though that absolutely was not my intention. It’s that age old scenario; no parent likes to have it suggested to them how they should raise their children, how they should discipline them and indeed, what they should feed them. In stating what I thought was an unacceptable ‘food’ choice for my unborn kiddies, she took this as an attack on her parenting skills.
But seriously, what is going on here? I mean, if you’re reading this and you feed your children high doses of refined sugar, high fructose syrup, artificial colours, flavours, preservatives, even regular meals with highly processed flours and packaged foods, then please, level with me here: I want to know why! Because for the life of me, I do not understand. How can anyone de-love, de-care for and de-nourish their most precious little souls of love. I want answers. Not taking responsibility for one’s own health it one thing, but to neglect the health of the innocent, impressionable, beautiful children of this world is criminal.
Of course, the grenadine food label instantly woke me up, because if only I’d looked around me I’d see the same story everywhere. The 7Up in the Shirley Temple is full of HFCS and artificial flavours and preservatives. The orange juice is far from, well, orange juice. So there I was, standing in my bar, looking around feeling like Alice in Wonderland, surrounded by a freak show of anti-foods. And it’s my job to serve that to your children when you order it for them
Get me out of here.
It doesn’t stop at the bar though. My most trying moments in this industry have been as a waitress, serving families at what is, for at least the next thirty minutes, their dinner table. And let me tell you, it is a dark, evil world, this dinner table scenario that I see on a nightly basis; one that many of you fortunate corporate/creative workers have the pleasure of not being exposed to. I have worked shifts where I’ve felt the need to be sick in the rest rooms, I’ve gotten anxious at work, I’ve been close to tears and worse- close to making the above said suggestions to Mummy and Daddy regarding little Timmy’s dinner- which is entirely none of my business.
I’m going to say it again… What’s going on here?
I’ve seen parents having to physically play tug of war with their kids in trying to retrieve the iPad before dinner time. Often they fail, and resort to letting Timmy tap away at the screen while he’s seemingly also playing a game of hit and miss with the french fries that are covered in sugar, HFCS, red food colouring and preservatives {aka ketchup}, as he tries to ‘eat’ while not taking his eyes of the screen, often landing the ‘food’ all over his face instead of in his mouth- which probably isn’t a terrible thing. But the parents seem happy, because they’ve pacified him. He’s being quiet, he’s not making a scene.
I’ve witnessed parents turn away water and instead order fizzy drinks for their kids, and then ask me ‘Do you guys do free pop refills?’ ‘Yes, we do’, I say. Damn it. ‘Great! Just keep topping up their Coke, please’.
I’ve taken repulsive food orders for children… ‘Can we get him a burger, with the fries, no salad… and just put meat, cheese and ketchup on the burger. If sees anything green, he’ll freak out and start screaming’. Ummm, are you kidding me?!?! You’re child is going to freak out and start screaming, because you have failed to implement a wholesome, nourishing diet of fruits and vegetables.
Of course, every single time, I bite my tongue, force a smile and punch in the order. I take a few moments to digest what just happened, and I have a lot of trouble letting it go.
My fingers are shaking as I type. This matters to me.
Am I alone here?
I have a lot more to say, but I’m going to break this up into a trilogy so as to hopefully grasp your attention as best I can. When I return to this topic, I want to further discuss the behaviour of children as a result of their diet. This is a fairly personal issue for me; I have two younger brothers, one with ADHD and another with Aspergers Syndrome, so no doubt, prepare to see a few of my pulled heart strings.
If you follow this blog, you may have realised that I’m on a spiritual crusade at the moment. I’ve found my Dharma, and feel confident of my path in this life, and that is to serve. All of us are meant to serve in our own unique way. Mine is to help people {particularly women} rebalance their life and regain their optimal, perfect, shining health. A very small portion of that is diet, but it’s invaluably important, too important to ignore, particularly if we’re not even giving our kids a fighting chance by raising them on anti-foods.
I’d love to start a conversation about this. Please like this post and share it throughout your community, start a discussion with friends and colleagues, anything you can to bring attention to the issue. If you’re a mother who feeds your children the above mentioned substances, then contact me, tell me why, defend your actions, whatever. I need to know why this is happening if I plan on helping people in the future.
I work at a in the kitchen at a hospital that mostly caters to heart/vascular disease patients. Believe me, I know exactly where you’re coming from, although in my case it’s full grown adults who are making these AWFUL food decisions for themselves! I deal with cardiac patients and diabetics ordering themselves hamburgers, fries, and sodas, or being hugely upset because the diet restrictions that their care provider has implemented for them doesn’t allow them some nasty food that they really really want. I try to encourage people to add vegetables to their plates and get turned down. It just makes me sick! I can’t believe people are so ignorant that they will continue to eat the exact same foods that put them in the position they’re in in the first place! Sorry for the rant! :)
@Lindsay Loves Veggies Linds, I couldn’t agree with you more. Ah, I could talk about this all day. I do find it absolutely atrocious, though, that hospitals have the audacity to even offer those foods. Just shows how strong a hold the big guys (Meat Corps, Agribiz, Big Pharma) have over our society…
Thanks for your comment x
I have no idea what was going on with that mother, but i honestly believe a lot of parents just are not aware of the sugars, colours etc in foods (especially store bought baby food & snacks!)
It is quite the norm for us to go to a play centre where we are the only ones in our group of friends to not get soft drink or “apple juice” pop tops.
Until recently Asta had no idea what soft drink even was, until someone gave it to her without me knowing, she gagged and asked for water instead. Someone also recently gave Iggy a lolly banana & red frog and could not understand why i was so angry.!??
We have cut all store bought crap from our house, but in saying that. I do have a box of “fruit” bars in the car for just in case.
If we are in a food court and Asta asks for Mcdonalds, i will let her get a happy meal,( I have a very big fear about not letting her have take away and then her turning into a teenager who eats mcdonalds twice a day because she wasnt allowed it as a child) however 9 times out of ten she will have a couple of chips and ask for the cut up watermelon and bottle of water in the nappy bag.
I do not force feed my child, if she doesnt like it the plate goes away, but i will keep trying and eventually she will at least give it a go. Last week we were at the shops, i asked her what she wanted for lunch and she asked if we could go home and have salad with baba ganush instead. (eff you to all the people who told me i need to force feed other wise she wont eat well..Pretty sure your kids wouldnt turn down macca’s for a salad…)
Anyways, i really do believe a lot of parents just have no clue when it comes to ingredients and the effects they have on our children.
You’re doing a good thing here Tara. x
@Anonymous
Bec, this was such a brilliant comment, thank you!
From the outside world of Facebook I have seen your revolutionary and awe inspiring methods you’ve used to raise your freaking beautiful kids. I couldn’t be more thrilled with the choices you’re making, and I have no doubt that both Asta and Iggy will thank you for it when they’re older.
Honestly, I’m scared of having kids, for some of the reasons you listed; not having control over choices I should- such as who feeds them, what they get fed and when. Funny that the more you want to care about the choices you want to consciously make, the more potential there is for you to be scrutinized by others for being so mindful.
You are an inspiration Bec.
Have you watched the movie Food.inc?
You should check this out, there are a few parts.. her is part number 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xncooF66lCg
@Jake Ferret
Sure have lady, amongst many others. Documentaries are such an excellent way to spread the messages!
Love this post Tara. As I don’t have kids I do try not to judge but it seems like people are completely unaware of what their kids should and shouldn’t be eating, and how they themselves should be eating.
Even in health conscious people (particularly my uni colleagues) I am often shocked by the choices people make on a day to day basis. It is also very disturbing that we don’t have formal nutrition as a part of our medical education.
I think with kids it is so important to get them eating plenty of veggies and the right food early, but more importantly to set a good example. I remember hating tomato as a kid just because my dad did… of course kids aren’t going to make healthy choices if their parents are constantly eating take away.
I completely agree that our diet is linked to so many health problems, so it makes sense that it would be related to behavioural problems in children, and I think this is underestimated both by parents and medical professionals.
Looking forward to reading more of these posts!!
@jazziefizzle Thank you so much Jaz, for what you’ve bought to the conversation. I am shocked and appalled to learn that medical students only learn 3 hours (at best) of nutritional education. I think it’s a real shame, and I’m sure, if given the opportunity, most students would choose to learn about nutrition.
You are so right about setting a good example. I was a ‘weird’ child, I thrived on spicy foods, and olives, and asparagus and loved beetroots! All my friends thought I was crazy but my parents bought me up on these foods, and I thought they were delicious! Thanks again Jaz… I love provoking these thoughts amongst my online friends!
Hi Tara! You certainly aren’t alone in your frustration. I often feel it along with hopelessness when I read research about the state of health of the average Westerner and the next generation of kids. The only thing I can say is that it’s a complex issue with many, many causes and that most people aren’t deliberately trying to be unhealthy or feed their kids crap, but it’s more a reflection of political, economic and cultural forces that are way beyond our control. That’s not to say that we as individuals can’t make changes for ourselves or influence those around us, but this situation is likely to take a long time to reverse. That being said, keep doing what you’re doing and try to use your talents and consciousness to help those who way be willing to listen.
@Carrie (Carrie on Vegan)
Carrie I knew I could count on you to give a compassionate and balance response to this, thank you. You are right, I think so many of the decisions that are made with our health and that of our children as a collective are subconscious. We have lost touch of our reality, which is really upsetting to me, and it’s going to take a gigantic shift to fix it. x
wonderful Tara,
I like that you are a ‘weird kid’ i too was the ‘weird kid’ my parents brought me up vegetarian for many reasons, health and religion mostly. Although what i find funny is that every kid was always jealous of our HUGE lunch boxes filled with homemade yoghurt, fruit, vege sticks with humus and dads famous ‘gluten steak burgers’ I never felt like i was missing out not eating take away or macca’s. I think what your doing is fab. Last year i had a mother call the hotel i was working at to ask if we had chicken nuggets. She told me that her child only eats chicken nuggets. I was horrified. Im not sure if people are just lazy in their parenting these days, trying to find the quick fix to pacifying their children. however, i do acknowledge there are more finacial pressures on parents today, meaning both parents are working more and longer, leaving children to either fend for themselves or in the care of others. its sad.
I had a wonderful wholesome upbringing. filled with art, music, dance, yoga, and delicious food. I can only hope i can do the same for my children.
Hi Tara,
I’ve been loving your blog! Just wanted to chime in and say that I too work as a waitress and have had moments when I felt truly sick to my stomach when refilling TODDLERS sodas and plates of french fries smothered in red-dyed HFCS! The saddest part for me is knowing that many of these kids will develop early-onset diabetes. Instead of being set on a track of health and wellness their parents and peers are unintentionally setting them up for either a LIFETIME of disease and emotional distress or a huge uphill battle to reclaim their health. How long will it take for society to realize that processed and highly concentrated sugar is an addictive “drug” that should be treated as such, not doled out by the handful to kids as a “treat.” Sorry for the ranting nature of this post but this is a personal matter for me as well because my “Little Brother” (from Big Brothers, Big Sisters) is an adorable, energetic 8 year old kid who loves snowboarding, hiking, biking, skateboarding, etc… Only it is really hard for him to do any of these activities for more than 10 minutes at a time because he weighs 150 lbs (68 kg)! Imagine an 8 year old boy whose knees ache from playing tag at recess. How did he get this way? There are probably many factors here a few reasons would be that his mother packs him enormous lunches without a single bite of real food in them. The school lunch program is nearly as bad. They are on welfare and the cost of fresh produce is much higher than that of cake-in-a-box and the food their church donates to them comes in cans and boxes, etc… The other day I saw his mom bottle feeding his new baby niece but I was surprised that the milk in the bottle was flamingo pink. Turns out it was Nestle Strawberry Milk. I was so sad for his niece who isnt even being given a chance to have a happpy childhood. Wow, sorry I did not mean to go on like that.
Thank you and sorry for the rant!
@Anonymous Oh My God! Thanks Anonymous, for your input. I really enjoy having people affirm by beliefs and values, it makes it all worthwhile. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother and I hope for the best for him and baby niece. Your response has frustrated me to no end. Feeding strawbeRry milk to a baby… WHAT IS GOING ON!?
Thank you again, and I’m super happy that my blog is speaking to you ! :D
Tara, I feel the exact same disgust as I go through my day…