Such Different Vixens: Emelie ‘Fox’ Archer

I have a feeling you’re going to really dig this one.

Partly because this interview is so authentic and moving, and also, because as human beings, we’re a little obsessed with discovering more about ourselves; digging a little deeper, unlocking the mystery that is us.

I for one can be romanced by chat of astrology, the Enneagram and soul essences in a heart beat. Any excuse to uncover an extra nugget that brings me closer to myself by virtue of mystical insight is a welcomed one in my book, so I was stoked to discover yet another channel for learning – the totem animal.

I had heard about Emelie from my mentor, but never thought to look her up until recently, when Rach excitedly reported me that after contacting Em, it was revealed that she is, in fact, a Puma!

Utterly fascinated, I needed to know more, and reached out to Em (you’ll read below about her incredibly brave and beautiful Pay What You Can totem animal service). I was over the moon to discover more about my totem, the fox, and instantly felt connected to both the spirit of the animal, and Emelie herself (a fellow fox!).

Synchronicites aligned in the sweetest of ways when I asked Em if she’s like to be featured in this series; vixens, of course, being a female fox.

Okay Universe. Hear you loud and clear. This chick is a keeper.

Buckle yourself in for a beautiful read.

Sum up your mission in one sentence.

To create a world beyond right or wrong, to open every heart, to live truthfully, to bow in playful service.

Can you share with us one of your most vulnerable moments (and in hindsight, what made it so beautiful?).

My life is an infinite series of vulnerable moments! Most recently though, I made an incredibly risky business decision: I decided to divorce money from my worth. I was tired of struggling to make ends meet simply because my services were “worth” a certain amount of money. So, instead of lowering prices (invalidating the standard I’d previously set) or offering a falsely urgent sale, I simply did away with prices altogether. Now, people pay what they can for my offerings on an honor-based donation system. They bring their best and I bring my best – no matter how much money is exchanged.

It felt crazy. It felt terrifying. It also felt like incredible FREEDOM. Not only did I erase my prices, I also changed my offerings completely; NOT by following the example/advice of a business mentor or marketing expert, but by consulting with my own foundational animal totem: the Fox.

I learned about her behavior in the wild, voraciously researched her, and then applied those behaviors to my own life withphenomenal results. 

Our totems contain powerful medicine… I had no idea just how potent until I fully embraced, embodied, and honored the Fox.

The Fox taught me that the best way for me to thrive is to play for a living. Now, I use my own potent intuition to divine totem animals for others; and that informs everything else that I do. I get to research, write, draw, LOVE people, light them up, turn them on, and uncage their wildness. I wake up every morning in a haze of gratitude.

If that’s what results from being vulnerable, then I’ll be vulnerable every remaining minute of my life. And it does. And I am.

What turns you on?

Spirit animals, the way my husband looks at me, passionate conversation, permaculture, fantastic food, nature play. Oh, and our homemade bedroom tie-down system.

What makes your blood boil?

Thanks to my meditation practice, it’s hard to get me to stay upset at anything for long these days. But I wish with all my heart that we could stop labeling each other as right or wrong and simply love each other because we’re ALL worth it.

How do you define confidence?

To me, confidence looks like loving someone without need for an answer, a future, a response, or reciprocity. When you can love like that; just because it is WHO you are… you have all the confidence in the world. There is no worst thing that can happen because you can always choose love. Love is the recipe for invincibility. Love is how we transcend fear.

When was the last time you experienced pure, unadulterated joy?  Can you give us the juicy details?

Yesterday, my husband and I spent the morning painting faces at a benefit walk for Autism. As we painted the faces of children, teens, adults, and elders (some with the disorder and some without), I felt completely overpowered by love. I loved each person who sat before me so thoroughly I thought I might simply evaporate into the universe right there on the spot. I painted angels and talked about death, I painted cats and talked about marriage, I painted mermaids and talked about dreams.

I felt how nervous some of these people were; to be sitting still in one spot, to feel the sensation of paint and brushes on their skin… and still they wanted the experience. They were so brave in their own way. And I know they felt me loving them. I know they saw me seeing them for who they really are: worthy, intelligent, beautiful…

It makes me tear up now remembering how that felt. How important it is for each of us to be seen. I’m so grateful that my eyes and heart are open.

Looking back, how have you most GROWN?  

I went through a phase when I first broke away from my self-constructed box of “good girl” where I really didn’t care what anyone thought of me, and I was going to go after my dreams whether you supported me or not, thank you very much. It was loud. I used the word fuck copiously. (Confession, still do: it’s a lovely word and among my favorite activities).

But I now recognize where I lacked compassion. I see how important it is to acknowledge people’s feelings and emotions. Acknowledgement doesn’t imply agreement, but it’s hugely important! Before, I just completely ignored any pain I was causing; writing it off as their responsibility to deal with their own pain. Now, I still follow my dreams and I still believe we each must take responsibility for our actions and reactions. But I speak and act with much more compassion… I’m much more considerate of how my words and actions may impact those around me. I honor others’ emotions by listening to them, by seeing them, by loving them. I still follow my own path, but in a much more loving and considerate manner. It has made all the difference. After all, we thrive best in community. I am glad I’ve learned to lovingly support mine; whether or not we always see eye to eye.

Combining my passions with a business I love makes me feel…

Like I’ve won the lottery every single day.

Few people know this about me, but I…

Used to be a vegan. What with the plethora of (responsibly raised and harvested) bacon I now consume, that might come as a bit of a shock. I have nothing against anyone’s dietary choices – but for me, it turns out that my body feels best what I eat at least some form of animal protein. I always say thank you.

I secretly wish I could…

Fly.

To me, the words ‘Such Different Skies’ mean …

That to each of us, even though we all agree the daytime sky is blue, we are all seeing it with different eyes. Every single person is living under “such different skies.” When we see that; when we remember that we are each operating from different perspectives… it makes it easier to love everyone – even those causing pain and damage. Having 7.3 billion people + infinite creatures to love could be overwhelming, but being overwhelmed with love isn’t overwhelm at all… it’s being truly alive. I say yes. More please.

Is this not one of the most incredible interviews you’ve ever read? This woman is a foxy little heart-stopper! Let’s say hi to Em in the comments… 

Emelie Archer Pickett is a Fox, an artist, a writer, and the curator of A Forbidden Life :: an online hub for forbidden conversations about sex, intimacy, love, and shamanism. She’s also an animal totem oracle. Want to find out yours and fuel your wild life? Come play with her (and pay what you can): your soul totem awaits.