I’m driving along in my little green car, listening to The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer, in my headphones. For third or fourth time.
It’s a delicious book – one of my favourites – one that I’m forever ‘prescribing’ to to my clients. All inspiration, zero spiritual jargon.
Anyway, I’m feeling rather jazzed up at the moment, because ol’ Mike is up to the part in the book in which he’s explaining how to stay happy…
‘Just decide not to close your heart,’ he says (and for the record, I’m paraphrasing him. Unfortunately quoting from audiobooks would make for a tedious experience of continually rewinding – fast forwarding – pausing – rewarding…). ‘Refuse to close.’
I can’t tell you how much I adore this advice. It echoes the same message that I received while I was at Vipassana. No one can make me feel anything. FREEDOM is allowing experiences to move through our beings, rather that trying to manage, control, manipulate, suppress and stuff our emotions.
When we put our guard up, we close. When we blame, judge, defend, justify, victimise, we close.
His voice continues to carry through to my eardrums as I contemplate his last sentence:
‘Is it ever worth closing your heart?’
Hells no! I realise. It’s a loaded question, but is anything ever truly worth being unhappy for? Anything?! I tend to doubt it.
Memories are rising up from within of times I’ve argued with my man for the sake of being right, or been impatient while on the phone to my communications provider, or when I’ve sat in the discomfort of unworthiness; feeling as though I was being left behind.
Is any of that worth closing my heart for?
When we close our hearts, we quite literally block the flow of life. We sever the energy that longs to naturally move through us. The joy, the ease, the miracles, the love. Our heart centre is where we radiate; it’s magnetic, and as my mentor Belinda says: If your heart’s not happy, the Law of Attraction ain’t gonna work for ya!
I’m going to take it upon myself to declare that we all want a Universal Law such as that to work in our favour. We want to be mesmerised by the mystery of life. We want to be surprised and in awe of the daily unfolding happenings that take place in and around us. But closer to home, we want to feel grateful, accepting, supported and a deep sense of love. All of these emotions and experiences take a seat in the heart centre.
So it bears asking again: Is it worth closing off my heart just because some dude cuts me off in traffic?
I decide:
I don’t want to close my heart. I’m willing to let discomfort and tension and vulnerability pass through me. I don’t need to protect myself from anything.
If I were walking, they’d be an extra spring to my step right now, but I’m not, I’m driving, so instead, I just smile goofily, inspired by my decision to remain open and receptive.
But Mike’s not finished. Even if you break down on the highway, do not close.
I think back to what happened seven years ago: my crash on the highway. Thinking about it makes me feel a little unpleasant; it was scary, it shook me. I hope that never happens to me again…
This time, he interrupts my memories with this: Do you want to be the type of person who looks at a crooked tree and says: ‘That tree is so annoying! It bothers me! I don’t like it!’ Or do you want to be the person that looks at the same tree and says: My god, what a beautiful tree! Look at the way it’s branches grow! It’s different and divine and I love it!
Again, a big fat grin spreads across my face. I WANT TO LOVE THE CROOKED TREE!
And just as that’s the approach that I decide I want to take it my life, I take a glance over to the hinterland, which I’m now driving beside. The sun has begun to set and the green of the rolling hills has turned to almost a brilliant gold. The fields are literally glowing. Bliss is pumping thickly through my body.
When my eyes fall back onto the highway in front of me, my whole body seizes up.
SHIT!
I slam on my brakes.
My car locks up.
It’s sliding. Sideways. It straightens up. Sideways again.
The steering wheel is shaking.
My life is flashing before my eyes, just like it did seven years ago.
With all my strength I try to veer my car off to the left…
But not before a loud THUMP!
The right side of my car hits the left rear bumper of the car in front of me.
I jam my handbrake on.
My heart is pounding.
I climb out of my car.
Walking to the other driver, I steal a glance at our cars.
His, miraculously, is missing a little paint. There’s a little love touch – a small ding – nothing to stress about.
Mine – she’s not looking too happy. But I barely give it a thought.
I put my hands on his shoulders. ‘Are you okay? I’m so sorry.’
He reacts calmly ‘Don’t worry, I’m fine. The highway locked up, I nearly hit the car in front of me too. This sort of thing happens all the time.’
We exchange details, bid each other farewell, and as I take a seat back in my car, I find myself laughing hysterically.
Finally, I look up to the sky, and say:
I am not going to close my heart.
Once you decide that you’re going to make the decision to remain open; to be more loving, to let go of beliefs that no longer serve you, to be more generous (whatever it might be), life will bring you opportunities to take your open heart for a test drive.
Are you going to jump in and take it for a spin? Are you going to have the courage to allow life to move through you? Are you going to relinquish your idea of how you think your life should unfold?
You’ve decided that you’re going to transform your relationship with money. So, how are you going to react when the next bill arrives?
You’ve decided that authenticity is your home base; the place from which you make all your decisions. How are you going to react when someone offers you a million dollar deal that’s not aligned with your truth?
You’ve decided that you’re willing to be more patient. How are you going to react when you’re caught in a two hour traffic jam?
Life will happen to you my dear friends. Let it. We don’t need to figure everything out, but this is something I know to be true: when we open up, we’re softer as people. Less reactive. More responsive. More joyful.
Love you dearly, and I hope this post brought a smile to your face today.
Please share this around using the buttons below, and leave me a comment: In what area of your life are you willing to open your heart?
For more tips on how to call in the happy, check out the Spirited 2014 Companion.
Disclaimer: I feel compelled to mention here that this post is by NO means an attempt to dull down the severity of a car crash. I’m sure we’ve all been touched by the injury or death or someone we love who has suffered in this way. My love-soaked message in this post is simply this: Be careful what you wish for! :) If you decide you want to live with vitality, enthusiasm and good humour, the Universe will present situations in your life in which you’ll have to flex those intentions, and do to that, you’ll have to overcome lethargy, apathy, and seriousness. Namaste loves x
Yes! I resonate with this so much. A few years ago, after a day in silence & meditation on top of a mountain, I came down the hill to find my car window had been shattered and my phone, wallet and credit cards stolen. All I could do was laugh!
It is such liberation seeing the humor, the love, the light, in all situations.
Thanks for sharing your story!
xo Ashley
Gosh I love this Ash. Cheers for sharing. xx
Great post! x
Thank you!
Love this post and SO glad to hear you’re alright Tara! Car accidents are scary whether my heart’s open or not! xo
PS I always want to love the crooked tree too!
All hail the beautiful crooked tree!
:) Thanks gorgeous x
Love this! Such beautiful writing babe…as always. And sending you and your car big love <3 <3 <3
Love you x
THANK YOU for this, beautiful Tara! As always, you make me smile and think and glow, all the same time ;) And thank God you’re alright! I absolutely loved, loved, friggin loved the sound of what that book’s all about, so excuse me while I go check it out on Amazon.
Haha you are excused! (You’ll love the book!)
So glad I can make you smile and think and glow, all at once!
Such divine timing, this post! Just this morning had my first car accident, when someone ran up the back of me. I felt surprisingly calm, no tears, no anger, just acceptance. Going to put that down to spending the last week chilling out, getting back into yoga and reading Spirited, so thank you.
How serendipitous!
Brilliant Tara :) Such a great way to explain this concept – LOVE IT! Lots of love xx
Glad you liked it baby girl x
This actually made me tear up a little ! So glad you are ok, and what an amazing resulting story. What area in my life ? I have to think about that. It has been a while since I took stock of where my energy is not flowing XO
:)
Ohhh I know this well, Tara! I wrote a similar post last summer when I got into an accident with my ’94 Ford Taurus (man reared me from behind, which smashed the back window). I was shocked and tears were streaming down my face, but I could do nothing but be in a state of gratitude and shout out THANK YOU’s through my sobbing tears of joy/shock to source. There was no resentment or fear that my car was done for.
And of course, my thoughts right before the crash were literally, “how can I get rid of my car….”
BOOM. The universe delivered.
And within the next 6 months, I was offered 2 free cars :)
Oh! I remember that post! How incredible my darling.
It’s funny you say that, because after the ding, I gave my car a pat and said ‘Well, that’s what I get for putting a brand new car on my vision board’ :)
I am glad you are safe, Tara.
A man ran a red light 5 years ago, if he did not swerve I would have been dead. My brain rattled and I went deaf for a few seconds & in the few seconds of the crash my thoughts were but really want to see more sunrises and sunsets, swim at the beach and watch the night sky and that I had to be around for my mum. I was in shock and had no idea if I was injured or not. All I knew was to get out of the car in case the engine blew up and somehow in complete shock I scrambled across the highway with all traffic stopped both ways, to lay on the grass. I just heart my grandmother say, “You will be okay pet”. I only had severe blood-bruising on my hand, whip-lash and thankfully my head had somehow not slammed into my window to the right of me. An ambulance collected me.
I felt I was so lucky I had not lost my life and had come out barely scathe. I thought of how horrific an accident must be for those who come out dead or injured must be. It really scared me, and put my mortality into perspective.
Sometimes when I drive I still get scared of how quickly life could change or end. But I guess you have to live with your heart open to the reality of our mortality and the ebbs and flows of life.
Oh honey.
This is why I put the disclaimer at the end of this post.
The focus was not meant to be on the fact that I had a car crash. I understand I was incredibly lucky. In my case, my little harmless ding was just a reminder to stay open. The Universe delivered my message to me in a way I could understand it.
Take it easy Nat xx
JUST finished reading this quote this morning in “A Year of Miracles.” (Side note: Amazing!)
Marianne Williamson says, “All the darkness in my life are not the presence of a problem but rather the absence of the answer. And the answer is love.” I’m also paraphrasing…
Anyway, that statement rings so true with what you were describing. I was in a very minor little dinger a few weeks back, in my mom’s borrowed car, while 9 months pregnant. It shook me to my core. Luckily all parties were fine but in that moment, all I could do was love. Love myself, love the other driver, love the little baby in the belly, love the other drivers around us, love the car…I just loved everything and everyone. I didn’t know what else to do. And in the few minutes it took us to pull over and climb out of our cars most of my worry faded away. I knew there was nothing else I could do at that point. What was done was done and we could both move past it. And we did.
I’m happy to hear your okay but what a way to begin the new year. A lesson, an exercise in presence, and a reminder to keep that heart open girlfriend!
Tara,
Firstly – I am so glad you are ok, and I hope your car gets the love it deserves and is back up and running in no time.
Secondly, I am going to open my heart to myself. I am going to give myself the love that I give out, about my body, my spirit, my relationship and my parenting.
Thank you so much. I truly love this post!
Thank you! I’m so glad you like it!
Just what I needed to read today Tara! Thank You xx
Ever so welcome :) x