Sobering Up: Why It Was Worth It

It’s Sunday morning and I bump into one of my soulies at the organic markets. My basket is hungry for bunches of kale, ruby red grapefruits and cherry tomatoes, and her cardboard box is brimming with spinach, cucumbers and zucchinis. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, here we stand, chatting about what’s inspiring us, and how we want to serve in bigger and better ways.

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On New Years Eve, I sit amongst kindred spirits. And though we’re all having a fantastic time in one another’s company, we’re blinking away tired tears. Is it midnight yet?! We giggle at how much our lives have changed.

On a Friday night – a night that I would have surrendered to the Let’s All Get Hella Messy gods in the past – I invite my girlfy around for an evening of kundalini yoga, Reiki and yoga massage.

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These are all examples which whack me on the side of the face with a truth that’s difficult to side step: Tara, you’ve come a long way, baby. 

I have, and I’m happy about it, but in the words of Brene Brown: You’ve gotta dance with the one that brung ya, which is why my journey is looked back upon with nothing but full tilt love, and a whole lotta compassion.

When I launched the Party Girls Guide to Peace 12 months ago, I was making a declarative statement to the rest of my unfolding life. I wanted the Universe to understand – loud and clear – that something in me had changed. That aiming true was my priority. I was Done with a capital D with what was tried and tested, and now – dammit! – I wanted to experience innovation within me. I was pretty sure I knew what that looked like: sobering up.

I was done with the drinking, the drugging, the share accommodation, the split shifts, the drama.

Done with the guilt, the ridiculous detoxing.

Done with the all or nothing approach.

The PGG2P was my portal into not only teaching others longing the same freedom as I a different way, but of taking my own medicine.

I prescribed myself a revolution.

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12 months on, and this program is so deeply integrated into my being that it has quite literally become a way of life for me.

And I’m just going to come right out and say it: I’m an expert in the field of Party Girl Transition.

I write about the pilgrimage to peace every fricken day of my life.

I live, breathe and love it.

And yet, I’m pulling the program down, tomorrow.

WHY?

1. It just feels like the best thing to do. (Which is the most important of all)

2. Something bigger is coming. (I just don’t know what it is yet) I’m willing to be patient.

3. I have some big things on the cards this year, which will enable me to serve you in other ways. I need to press pause, regroup and pivot.

But what if I’ve already signed up? Or what if I sign up today? Will the content disappear?

The content is yours for life.

As is the private online community. (Which I’m an active participant in)

Once your in, you’re in! I just won’t be taking any more Party Girls on board after midnight this Saturday AEST.

Before we wrap this up, and before you decide once and for all if the PGG2P is for you, I want to share with you something that’s been hugely transformative for me as I’ve trudged along this path from Party Girl to Peaceful Freedom Seeker, and that’s:

Decide what SOBRIETY means to you.

That’s right. Craft your own definition of it.

It’s been a fascinating dynamic – watching some of my Party Girls transition to a completely sober life. That the program helped guide them to do that, well, I’m grateful. And I’m just as proud as punch of the girls that still enjoy (enjoy being the operative word here) their chosen drop, and yet also enjoy living vibrantly on their Sundays. rather that hiding away from the sun.

For me, sobriety means:

• Abstaining from binge drinking and getting drunk. Period. (I swore off getting drunk in January last year. I meant it.)
• Abstaining from drugs.
• Listening to my body, always. If my body says no to a drink and I go right ahead and take a sip anyway, before I know it I’m waving hello to a decent dose of self-betrayal. If my body gives me the green light, and I sip slowly on my drink of choice, it tastes so incredibly divine. Like a real treat.

For me, sobriety does not mean:

• Never having another drink again. That actually feels totally constricting to my energy. (It’s taken me a few months to admit this)
• Becoming a tee-totaler.
• Never going out to see live music, or a festival, or night out with the girls.

My relationship to the Party has changed, because I’ve come to understand that the ‘Party’ is unnecessary.  The ‘Party’ is what you say it is, sister. Party can mean earl grey tea and cucumber sandwiches. Party can mean sober raves on the beach in your bikini and a wireless radio. Party can mean you and your honey curled up in the corner of a swanky jazz bar, letting those angelic sounds permeate you between sips of mineral water. Allow yourself the permission to make you own rules. Please.

What’s also helped me and my girls is the conscious decision to view alcohol as something to occasionally enjoy, rather than something to needs to be reached for in uncomfortable moments.

This sounds pretty straight-forward, no? Don’t overdo it. Everything in moderation. Take it easy. And such.

Moderation? What of it?! That wasn’t a word that took residence in my being before. I think Go Hard Or Go Home was a more fitting motto.

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I’m happy to say that I’m at a beautifully balanced place where I can go months without a drop, and also, that I can enjoy a drop or two at other times without the guilt. Guilt, I believe, burns the most on the way down. More than tequila, more than absinthe.

The Party Girls Guide to Peace is an inquiry into how guilt is showing up and running your life. Self-defining SOBREITY is a brilliant place for you to start if you want to run your own race and give societal models of what constitutes acceptable behaviour the finger.

So. At least for now, all this Party Girl story telling ends here. When I write about the way things once were, I’m having to dig back through memory banks that are starting to distance themselves from my psyche. Because I’m happy now. Because I’ve learnt the lessons that were there for the learning. Because I’ve embodied the learning, I’ve practiced my preaching, and (most importantly), I’ve tried my very best to help you do the same.

I have the Party Girls Guide to Peace to thank for that. Something that has helped me as much as it has helped its members. Something that I myself continually refer back to as I shift my focus to actively transforming my relationship to food and social media.

One thing at a time, hey? (Wink!)

It feels like an ending. But it also feels like a wide open beginning. And I promise, just in case you were a little concerned that the story-telling ’round here will cease, it’ll all be in my book, my gorgeous friend. All of it. You know, that book I’m going to get published? :) Yeah, that one.

Alrighty. This is the final curtain call.

Join the Party Girls Guide to Peace Now, or stay the same.

OTHER WAYS YOU CAN WORK WITH ME

Get your hands on Spirited.

Fancy an (ex) Party Girl mentor? Dial me down as your coach.

Check out these posts below for FREE inspo:

• Quit Judging Others (includes PGG2P freebies!)
• The World’s Best Hangover Cure
• Party Girls: Get Peaceful!
• The Answers to Your Prayers
• 7 Things That Have Improved My Health
• 3 Things I’ll NEVER Do Again

Thank you SO much for jumping onboard this adventure with me. It’s been so incredible. I feel beyond honoured.

Tell me in the comments: What’s YOUR definition of sobriety?

And seeing we’re in the dying hours of registration, could you be so kind as to share this post with your friends? Thank you love.